Boys don’t talk – or, Why I Like My Quiet Time

by superinferior

With wife out of town on business, it was just me and the boys for the weekend. No problem. They are 11 and 14 and are fairly self-sufficient and low maintenance. I had an afternoon obligation yesterday also, so the good aunt and uncle jumped in and spent the day with the kids.

So pretty easy-going weekend. And noticeably quiet. It’s on these kinds of days I pick up on the nuances between mom and dad in this household. You see, I am one of those who likes the quiet. I am perfectly fine to go about my thing while the boys do their thing…outside, in their bedroom, on the laptop, whatev. I think the quiet is one of the ways I recharge my inner battery before the start of the work week. I think it’s the same for the boys – I know it is for the 14 year old.

Wife is not so keen on the quiet and tends to get bored quickly in the sitch I described. In fact, she will sometimes ask me “what’s wrong. You’re quiet” or “the boys won’t come out of their room, I don’t know what’s wrong.” She enjoys engaging with the boys, discussing everything from school to current events. Don’t get me wrong – she doesn’t badger. Far from it. She’s a great mom who gives them their space. It’s just a little difference in parenting style that I notice from time to time.

I like to engage the boys, too. The dialogue can be somewhat more concise with me is all. My conversations with the kids tend to have a purpose not unlike an urgent mission – get in/get out. And we are fine with that.

I just made my usual pancakes, bacon and eggs for breakfast with the boys as we wait for mom. No conversation. Just enjoying a good meal and the company of one another, even if there was not much talking. 

I’m sure not all dads are this way, but I think my parenting style might be descriptive of the differences between men and women in relationships. Wow, that’s quite a generalization.

Ah, wife is home. Quiet time over. We miss her…I’m ready for some fun. She is the fun one in the house after all.